Planning Menus

What's on your dinner menu for this week? 

[I might need ideas.]

Actually, I just sat down last night and wrote down 5 ideas for suppers this week. Yes, I know, there are 7 days in a week, not only 5. But Sunday nights are grab-and-growl [get/fix/make your own] and I'm sure we'll have leftovers for at least one night, so there we go: 5 meals. 

I like to try to use things I have on hand so I don't have to buy tons of groceries. 
So, here goes: 

#1: Spaghetti and meatballs (lots of meat, peppers, onion and mushrooms per the husband's request) 

-venison from the freezer
-homemade sauce (yay for canning!)
-fire roasted peppers and onions (hanging out in the freezer for a few weeks now)
-canned mushrooms (a staple at this house)
-spaghetti 

#2: Sausage gravy and biscuits (comfort food at its finest, yes please!) 

-sausage from the freezer
-milk and flour to make gravy
-flour,salt,baking powder,milk and oil for biscuits (already in my cupboard!)
My personal touch to this menu is to drizzle with syrup (yummmmm)

#3: Meatloaf and potatoes (easy enough and my husband is a meat and potatoes man)

-meatloaf from the freezer (I made a big batch of mini meatloaves [not sure why?] but it's time to use them)
-potatoes (mash,bake,whatever…probably depends on Zane's nap for the day)

#4: Chicken, broccoli, and carrot stirfry (and any other vegetable I find laying around)

-Frozen chicken breast 
-Frozen broccoli
-Big bag of carrots that need to be used
-Season with butter, garlic, and/or any other spices in my cupboard

#5: Pizza (this is the go-to meal here) 

-homemade crust (easy,peasy)
-homemade sauce (Mom's recipe is the best)
-peppers/onions/mushrooms/bacon bits 
-pepperoni 

-and the only item I had to buy to complete this weeks menu: CHEESE. for the pizza. (it's pretty much a staple) 

I did buy a few other things: milk, eggs, coffee, oatmeal, bananas, Wheat Thins (if you care to know). I strongly dislike grocery shopping more than once a week so if I'm running low on things we eat a lot, I buy it and it can wait in the pantry or fridge for a few days. 
I'm finding that when I take a few minutes to write down ideas, my grocery shopping is much more organized and I actually get what we need, not just what looks good as I meander down the aisles. 

Share the love. Share your menus. :) 
Happy Monday. 

Learning to Live

Do you ever think about what would happen if all your worst fears came true? 
If today was the day your life changed forever? 

I do. 
I'm typically not a morbid person. Honestly. 
But I do struggle with fear. 

"What if, what if, what if".. like a drumbeat in my head. 
I can put myself in tears in seconds with these "what if" thoughts.  
(Maybe I am morbid.)

I'm learning something though. 
Thinking about my worst fears happening and contemplating how I would respond reveals idols in my heart, that fierce grasp on people and things. 

I'm thinking of that phrase I hear often at church:
"When good things become God-things, it's a bad thing." 

Like my husband and our marriage. What a good, good thing.
 (Sure, we have our moments, who doesn't?)
But when I fiercely cling to him or our marriage (for security, identity, purpose), it's hard to breathe. And that breathing,ya know,it's pretty essential for life. 

God could take this. And He would still be good. 

And our son. Another precious blessing. We could do everything right as parents, everything...and God could still take him. 

And God would still be good. 
Because God's goodness isn't dependent on whether I feel/think/admit it. 
Thank God for that. 

If these good things were taken from me, 
would my identity be destroyed, 
my security wiped away? 
Would I rest in God's goodness even then? 

I'm learning to live, not in fear, but with joy, gratitude, intent. 
I'm learning to live, not fiercely clinging to these gifts, but with openhanded wonder, grateful for every moment. 

photo credit: http://www.flickriver.com/photos/digidragon/3046266667/

so many gifts. every moment.

To Write or Not To Write?

That is the question. 

What's my motive in writing? To encourage and bless others, to honor God? Or do I want others to hear ME, see ME, like ME, blah, blah, blah? 

Does the selfish desire for recognition or approval disqualify me from speaking truth? From sharing about the work God is doing in me? 

When I know that my heart and its motives are quite human, should I refuse to push through, to do the hard work [whatever that work might be] until my motives are perfectly pure [which is never]? 

Should I not write in fear that others might perceive me wrongly? 
Should I write with the attitude of "I'm just saying..."? 

I sense that even in my questions, I'm making myself the point. 

I do know this: My new heart desires that Jesus is exalted in my life; that HE is number one. 

I know this too: As a follower of Jesus, there is no time for sloppy living, for haphazard faith and love. 
I must be intentional. 
I will seek after, love, and worship Jesus with intent. 
I will faithfully love and respect my husband with intent. 
I will mother with intent. 
I will be in relationship with intent. 
I will write with intent. 
I will live with intent. 

After all, as that new song says: 
"We are his church. We are the hope on earth." ["Build Your Kingdom Here",Rend Collective Experiment, emphasis mine.]

That is weighty. Really weighty. There are a lot of people without hope these days. Which is a subject for a different day. 


So to write or not to write? 
In good timing, with intent. 
To give hope, to be hope. 
For His glory, not my own. 

Transitioning

Since the last post on here left us in Guatemala, I think it's fair to let you know that we did actually arrive back home safe and sound in October. And for some odd reason, it bothers me that the blog was just left hanging in limbo. So I decided a few nights ago, while I was up in the middle of the night with our newborn son, that I have to transition the blog back to the States. If I never post again, at least the last blog post and our current life is in the same country.

I also decided in the middle of the night that I don't like the word transitions. Part of the dislike is due to a required class in nursing school called Transitions in Nursing. It was an awful class; incredibly boring but with required projects that involved public speaking. I don't enjoy public speaking. At all. The other part of the dislike of this word is probably related to this question:
 "How has the transition been back to the States?" 

My mind always blanks and I frantically wonder what I should say. I'll try to answer that here, because here I can sit and think and type and then backspace until I actually write what I feel about this transitioning period in our life. (I don't mind the word transitioning. Chalk it up to a weird quirk.)

Some wise people who visited us in Guatemala said this: "If you are simply aware that life will be different: you have changed, your family and friends have changed, your church has changed; life has moved on in your absence....the transition will be easier."

They were right.
So here are some of the thoughts that run through my brain quite rapidly when asked about transition.

Sometimes I still can't believe that our parents live only 15 minutes away. That we can drive over and spend the evening with them, enjoy a cup of coffee together. I remember fighting back tears when we first came home and would get together with our families. I was overjoyed to be with them again, and yet I wondered where I belonged. I remember being desperately ready to go home, to just be me and Josh, to be quiet. And I am thankful now for a gracious family who gave us space while surrounding us with love; and certainly we have found our niche again.

And quietness. Blessed, blissful quietness. I learned to appreciate that like never before in Guatemala. Since coming back to the States, I have really noticed our lack of quietness. I get very tired thinking of all the podcasts, sermons, radio this or that, blogs, books that I should listen to or read. And they are good things. I admit, I have this thing about things that everyone is listening to or reading or watching. Like reading Karen Kingsbury novels or watching Duck Dynasty or reading the book "Jesus Calling". I tend to shy away (thats probably putting it mildly; ask my women's group) from a thing, even if its good, if everyone and their neighbor is talking about it. And yes, I realize this says something about my heart. Probably something not nice. I suppose the rambling point I'm trying to make is that I still haven't figured out how to balance quietness, all the voices, and the good, good things God has laid on much, much wiser people's hearts to share with his Church.

I don't even know if that makes sense in my own head. gah.

I appreciate church like never before. Corporate worship. The Gospel in my own language. Quite frequently, my throat closes and my eyes swim at the overwhelming goodness of God in blessing us with church, with community. This is not to say that the overwhelming goodness of God is not present in services where my language is not spoken, because I have also experienced that. But Josh and I didn't regularly attend church in Guatemala, for various reasons; and it has been delightful and soul-feeding to be home and be a part of the church here.

Then there is the hardest one of all. The part that makes the screen blur in front of me even now.
The kids in Guatemala.
I miss them so much. Sometimes they made me want to pull my hair out and say bad words. But they are forever a part of my life. Some days it's worse. I can feel Josue's chubby cheeks and hear Isaac beller and see Jacob come running. I can hear the insanely ridiculous arguments about which cup belongs to who and who didn't empty the dishwasher and who left the toy truck outside and who found out and who it belongs to now. I want to pass out more hugs and tell them more how amazingly special and precious each one is.
And with the very recent arrival of our son, my heart aches even more for those babies and children who are uncelebrated, uncherished; and for those babies who never even have the chance to be born. It takes my breath away and I want to be a part of bringing God's love and mercy to these with no voice. I wonder how God will use us, our family in "setting the solitary in families." (Psalm 68:6)

So, how has the transition back to the States been?
Good, hard, and gracious.
And I've decided that transitioning will never end. It's a good thing. Hard, but good.
I want to gracefully embrace transitioning; allow it to constantly drive me to the Gospel, to the heart of God.