Stateside

Today is the day. The last day. 
Before we go home. 
Leave home-home to go home. 


If that doesn't make sense, let me know. 
It makes perfect sense in my brain. 


It's been just lovely being here. Wonderful, fantastic, awesome, and all those other out of control adjectives. But mostly, its been plain good. Like the good-that-hurts-my-heart kind of good. 


It's been good to relax and spend lots of time with our families. We are blessed. 
It's been good to be in church and hear the Gospel in our language, surrounded by people who love us, support us, and challenge us. We are super blessed, really. 


I'm sad to leave here. Goodbyes don't get easier, in my opinion. 
But I'm really, really excited to see the kiddos. I MISS them. 


I'm thankful that we are returning feeling refreshed, recharged, restored. I'm thankful for family, church and friends here who challenge, love, pray us through. We could not make it without you. I told Josh that I feel incredibly sad for people who come home from foreign missions and don't have the support and love that we have. Super, super blessed. 


People have asked us "So are you going to be lifetime missionaries?"
 "Where are you going to missionary next?" 
The answers are "yes" and "wherever we live". 
I am learning this: I am called to be a missionary for the rest of my life, wherever I live. 
If you are a believer, the calling is for you too. 
Maybe God won't call you to Guatemala or any other foreign place, but central Pennsylvania has a whole lot of needs too. A whole lot of people need Jesus here too. 
Look around. Ask God to show you a need. Be willing. And obey. 


And being a missionary doesn't mean a person has it all together. 
Cause people call me a missionary and you know, I'm not even close to having life together. Moving to Guatemala did not magically move me beyond materialism or move me to a higher plain of prayer and devotional life. 
I get angry. 
I say mean words. 
I think horrid thoughts. 
I am selfish. proud. arrogant. ignorant. 


But I thank God for Jesus Christ! 
I know God is refining me, us in our time in Guatemala. It's hard and it's not all its cracked up to be. [Being a missionary, that is] Or all I imagined it to be. 
I want to live all about Jesus, all about HIS Gospel. And right now, I'm called to Guatemala. 


So I'm excited to fly south tomorrow, to continue the refining process, to learn better how to live everyday for Jesus, for His Gospel, giving His love to those around me. 


Feel free to ask me in about three weeks or so if I'm living what I say. Cause I'll need to hear it. Lots. 


And so ends my random collection of thoughts on my mind. There is plenty floating around in my brain, but this is all for now. 


Thank you to each one who made our trip home so special and relaxing and good. 
We love you! 


p.s. There is entirely too much food in this country. really.